Chasing Cars - Episode 1

11th of July, 2013.

He just sat there, staring into the distance.

There was a subtle calmness about the morning air, as if after a wild storm, the winds were settling down, tired and quiet. The roads looked back, as if making fun of him, going on till eternity, against his static and stagnant life. Even the clouds kept moving, and not wayward, but unidirectional, with some purpose underneath those shapes. Unlike his mind, the world wasn't blank, out of purpose, out of inspiration.

He stood up all of a sudden and moved towards the kitchen. He needed some tea. Trying to cut down on cigarettes, he needed something to drown his insides with. The house was quiet. Such an irony, he kept thinking. His mind was screaming inside- insanity, madness, thoughts, questions, desires, needs, hopes, plans, remorse, impatience, randomness -he took a long gasp of breath in, as if to direct the calmness around him, inside.
It didn't help.

Tea was ready. And he started recreating his reality in the head, comprehending the situations. If he wasn't home, he would've had to walk 3 miles to find a tea stall open at 5.30 am. Rs 7 for a cup of tea, and a classic milds for Rs 8, and then maybe another cup of tea, 'cause these jerks served tea in the tiniest cups ever produced by mankind,one body jerk and 3.5 Rs would spill all over one's shirt, and then maybe another milds. "Come on! One cig for two cups of tea, what am I, a baby?"  He saved 30 bucks, right there! "What a fuckin' cheapskate I am,ha!" he chuckled, but he knew somewhere inside, he would've given his decision a second thought while spending that too.

These were hard times. Inside the head, and out there in the world. Inside he was confused, deluded, mentally surrounded by possibilities that were trapped somewhere between 'might' and 'would'. Outside, it was a confused world, always had been. Belief was no less than a war raging in the head against needs and options. It had been while since he had the luxury of a salary in his pocket. The new workplace wasn't exactly an established firm, but a molding model with immense potential. He had worked hard there, very hard, worked without sleep and at times without food, just to make it reach a place where he would be able to lavishly swim in bankrolls. But things had taken a few twists and turns on their way, and it with each passing day, the battle was turning into a mosh-pit of emotions, wavering between the patience to hold on and the urge to move on. Each passing day, was a test of patience.
He hadn't failed yet.

A Meaning.

6 p.m.
The heat of the day was beginning to subside.It was getting darker at the horizon.There weren't many trees around,but the air started getting a little cooler.She decided it was time for her to head home.Her kids would be waiting for her,hungry,waiting for her to give them food,and maybe tell them how her day went.
That was the general routine she followed since the day her kids opened their eyes.She would head for work in the morning,work all day.around 2 pm, when it was impossible to even lift one's head towards the sky in the heat,she would go and rest under the big tree nearby.Then she would wake up within an hour and would work till the sun would drop.She would then collect some food for which she worked all day,head home and meet her kids who would start shouting in excitement of seeing her return.That one moment,the look in her kids' eyes,the brightness that flashed out of their smile on one sight of her,would make all her efforts worth bearing.They loved her without any parameters of logic,and she loved them beyond the obvious reasons.Her family,her home,her world,it was them.

4 p.m.
Mrs. Singh came out in the balcony to pick up the clothes she'd left to dry in the morning.It was a hot day,and she was sweating profusely.It had been two days since the power cut,and the inverter at her place had stopped working.She made a mental note that she'll ask her son to get some batteries for it from the market.She looked below the apartment,a couple of people started fighting on the street over something."Losers",she mumbled to herself.She was already irritated by the electricity issues,then managing all the housework on her own without the appliances working left her all angry and bubbling with suppressed rage.Just as she was about to take the clothes down the hangers,her elbow felt a sharp piercing pain.She jerked her arm in a reflex action and turned around to find a little hornet bee flying away from her towards the roof.The stinging sensation on her elbow enraged Mrs. Singh further and she took a good look at where the little bee was flying back to.She saw the bee enter a tiny beehive at the corner of the roof,right beside the balcony door,towards the outside.Scratching her elbow and cursing the little bee under her breath,Mrs. Singh walked inside the house deciding that getting rid of the beehive was of utmost priority.

5.45 p.m.
Siddharth came out of the apartment lift thinking about the football game at night. Juventus vs Milan, always a big game in the league.The mere thought of Andrea Pirlo ruling the midfield against his old club gave Siddharth goosebumps.He reached the apartment door and was about to ring the bell when he noticed the nameplate hanging upside down against the nail. "Weird name,but sounds cool,upside down."He thought and chuckled to himself,and pushed the plate upside down."SINGH'S",he mumbled,"damn!that sounds royal",chuckled again and rang the bell.Nothing happened.He realized the power cut was luxuriously extended by the authorities.He took out his phone and called his mother,asking her to open the door.She came,opened the gate and rushed inside,mumbling to herself,leaving Siddharth utterly confused.He walked in behind her and saw some medical creams lying on the table and his mother sitting on the chair furiously rubbing her elbow with a cream sponge.
"What the ! What happened to your elbow?" Siddharth blurted out.
"A hornet bee.Small in size,but boy did she pinch in hard!Get the cleaner mop from the kitchen,and go out in the balcony of my room,right above the door,on the outside,is a little beehive.Go and smash it before anyone else gets hurt.Be careful!"
Siddharth casually picked the mop up and went towards the balcony.Seemed to him as if he was Darth Vader and he would destroy the habitat of the aliens in a jiffy.Carefully,he walked out of the door,and looked up.He saw the smallest beehive he had ever seen."Must've been one lazy bee,ha!"he chuckled.Slowly with the mop,he prodded the beehive,to make sure if there were any bees inside.Just as he prodded the hive,3 tiny bees flew out of it in a weird fashion as if still learning how to fly."Now its empty!"He smashed the hive with full force against the roof with the mop,and the hive fell on the ground and he smashed it into pieces with the mop."And then Sid saved the family from stinging attacks."He dramatically spoke.Just when he was about to turn back towards the door,he looked at the hive,and he thought,so small,so weak,so fragile,is this home to anyone?The buildings around him were huge and impregnable,and this tiny substance lying on the ground,was nothing in comparison.Then he thought,perhaps that's why Human race is the best and top of all species!Feeling pride inside his chest,he walked inside the house.

6.15 p.m.
She was almost home.The closer she got,the more impatient she grew. She was constantly thinking about the kids.They were growing up now.There had been a couple of time when she found them lurking around outside home,when she reached home.She was worried about such situations.With nobody to take care of them, they could land themselves in trouble.After all,they were kids,and their judgment wasn't preceded by logic.She felt a tinge of nervousness creeping on her spine by these thoughts.Especially when her kids had started flying and had their stingers growing sharper.
As a Hornet Bee,life wasn't easy.With a constant threat from all the species,coexistence was a major issue.She knew she never meant harm to anyone,but as often as day and night,she'd find others threatened by her presence,especially Humans.Humans,the unique specie which,in some ways,ruled the movements of life across the globe,but felt threatened by minutest of creatures.She was scared that her kids might scare Humans,which might have dire consequences.
Lost in complex process of thoughts,she reached home.As she flew over the balcony,she headed for the roof,only to find traces of hive-dust around there.She was petrified to the core,and looked around for her kids.It was then when she found crumbs of her home lying down on the floor in pieces.She flung herself to the floor with full force,but couldn't locate any trace of her children.She went off around everywhere searching for them,but all she could find was settling dust,dimming sunlight and the bedsheet of stars far away.

6.25 p.m.
Siddharth stood near the window of his room,looking out in the balcony.The mad buzz created by a hornet bee made him look out.He felt scared,the bee was buzzing frantically around.he couldn't step out fearing it might sting him.All his Human superiority came down crashing in pieces of fear,instilled by a creature far smaller than him.The frantic buzz,was enough to petrify a member of the winning race,the Human race.

6.25 p.m.

She returned back to the pieces of her home,and started looking at them.Her eyes were empty.Her emotions left her.She couldn't feel anything in and around her.Everyday,she fought for her life,her children's lives,only to survive and help them survive.Never did she intend to harm a creature around her.All her energy,all her chi, was spent in creating a sense of security for her family,a circle of faith.The circle,which lay on the floor,broken into pieces.Her niche of life,so small,so weak,so fragile,but it was home to her and her family.The buildings around her were huge and impregnable,and this tiny substance lying on the ground,was nothing in comparison.But then,every piece of the fragile hive,contained something which the ever rising globe of debris could never have.The purity of soul.The desire to love.A Meaning.

Once.

Off he runs,away from them all.

Away from the rise,away from the fall.

Look away and he shall evade.

Oh!Paint it or it would fade!

Oh!Paint it or it would fade!

Back.Forth.

He drives along the countryside,
the fields are green,
the houses small,
but the vastness huge,
and a never-ending blue sky,
almost like a painting,
a beautiful place to look at,feel and be a part of,
as if this is where he belongs.

But he drives on.
And comes across a hilly town,
mist a meter above the ground,
and the lakes resemble sparkling crystals,
the trees protect the land with the arms of trees,
and the dew is permanent,
feels like a dream on a winter night,this place,
and a place hard to drive away from.

But he drives on.
And comes across a forest,
silent,untouched,holy,pure,
where the wind rustles the leaves,
like the waves of an ocean,
and the chirping birds at times,
feels like the symphony of silence,
a forest to feel the nature and the wonders and the beauty,
and how could anyone walk away from this serenity.

But he drives on.
And drives for miles and miles and more,
but its just the road,and the road around,
empty spaces prevail,
no green,blue or sparkle to view,
but the absence of any presence.

And he stops.

He feels sorry to have left the beauty behind,
but hopes he might find something perfect to stay,further if he drives,
and he stands deluded.
Nostalgia and Anticipation aren't too far from each other,
and it all depends,
on what we look at,
longer.

Oh the road goes back!
Oh the road goes forth!

?

If you live your life fearing the dark,you might never witness the beauty of the night!

Convergence.Divergence.

He sits in the sun,
with a pad,a pen and headphones on,
he thinks of a scene,
and then of a song,
he shuffles around,
there's something missing,a scene or a song?
He looks at the world,
then the world of his own,
and doesn't look back,
its better where he belongs.
Then she walks in,
through the trees and the shadows,
with a pad,a pen and headphones on,
she looks around,
Sun touches her skin,
and golden she turns.
She walks on but shuffles,
as if something's missing,a scene or a song?
He looks at her face,
and the scene melts in beauty,
the songs he can write,
and make it so perfect.
He looks at the world,
then the world of his own,
only to look back,
its better where she belongs.
He.

She smiles deep inside,
The day,oh so good it is,
as she walks out of the house,
None walks right past out,
a smile none gives,
like none knows her soul well,
and her day begins.
Then she goes along,bubbly than ever,
and enters the park,
through the trees and the shadows,
with a pad,a pen and headphones on,
she looks around,
Sun touches her skin,
and golden she turns.
She walks on but shuffles,
as if something's missing,a scene or a song?
so she sings along,
to make it so perfect,
like none was hers,
as she dreams of.
She.

He thinks its time,
he must tell her the truth,
and shall ask her if,she thinks he's worth.
And he stands up to walk,
to do what he shall,
or to do what he must.
He walks up to her,
and speaks to her back,
of what he feels,
maybe more than he shall,
and speaks of the scene,
and the song of his heart.
But she turns around,
with tears in her eyes,
and sobs and she runs,
away from the world.
He watches her leave,
he looks at the world,
then the world of his own,
and doesn't look back,
its better where he belongs.

She walks through the lake,
and across the park,

and goes on to watch,the birds flying around.
She turns around the fountain,
only to find it all flip,
as she watches one,kiss none's upper lip.
She sinks into vacuum,
and stands deep in the ground,
when she hears up a whisper,
as if someone speaks behind her back.
Her throat,it goes silent,
and so do her ears,
the only thing that speaks,
are her eyes and her tears.
She turns around and she sobs,
as she sees him standing there,
as if he's waiting for someone,
or maybe waiting to hear.
But she's too numb to judge,
as she runs off away,
away from the park,
like a waste,like a stray,

He still waits in the park,
for her to come and answer,
what made her cry,
or made her run.
She still waits outside her house,
for none to come out,
and to face none's eyes,
to fight,to question,to shout.

Some roads,they are meant,
to go two separate ways,
but they do meet at a point,
before they part ways.
You may say they come and meet there.
You may say they go apart from there.
You may say what seems right,
to you.
For things are meant to be known,
but we all assume.

The story doesn't end,
and it shall go on,
till he shall write,
till she shall mourn.

In the night,before he sleeps,
he thinks of her,
and looks at her picture.
In the night before she sleeps,
she thinks of none,
and looks at none's picture.

Two souls and two hearts,
could meet or could part,
its a pity it didn't work out,
its a pity it didn't work out.

Daydream

To walk around,on a winter night,
such pleasure in pain,such warmth in the rain,
the fog,oh!it calms my sight,
for it reflects,what I am inside.
and yes,that's why,i hate the clear sky,
for the soul I hide,is so traumatized,
like a little spoiled kid,it loves to lie,
and loves to hate,and loves to chide.
been a while,been a while,
since the spring of Rome,
too far,too hard,
but we'd come back home.
do I shall,yes i will,for the words are not where the wisdom lies,
the stories I tell,timeless but true,
aren't tales of the kids,or the books of the wise,
but the words of all that I've been through.
i speak tonight,not to wish,not to hope,
but to wake my soul up from its somber sleep,
but if you asked,I'd wave it off,
for the wounds,they run,way too deep.
I'd speak what I need,but they wont believe
for like a disembodied shadow in a dying flame,I've began to rive
but I await her again,to love me and leave
just to see if my heart's still in there,alive.