the suicide note

the dedication of this song goes out to akshat golas,a good friend and a brilliant thinker.he once told me a story he thought about,and i went ahead and wrote a song on that.this is the song that follows his story.here goes the story.

There's a man, who loved his deceased wife, and they had a daughter.. He obviously loved her, and over protected her too much.. So one day she decides to break the laws laid down by her father, and hence brings a guy home behind her father's back.. The man gets home unexpectedly early and finds the guy having his way with his daughter.. He gets a knife from the kitchen and attacks the guy outta rage, but accidently kills his daughter instead..

The whole society then laughs at him, under the pressure of which he commits suicide..

the song is written through the perspective of a police officer who discovered the suicide note during his investigation.

a hallway i walked..
a murder i stalked..
n i stumbled upon a paper..
lying near..
in a jagged writing..
as if written off fighting..
some urge or a war..
not clear..
and i sat down to read..
while smoking some weed..
unknown to the arrival..
of fear.

"To everyone..
please don't laugh through my last rites..
don't make fun..
of my plights.
not a day has gone..
without shame surrounding me..
not a day has gone..
without people hounding me..
not a day has gone..
when they haven't laughed on me..
not a day has gone..
when i haven't cried to plea..
don't judge me for what i did..
whom i buried was my own kid..
tonight i write to speak it all..
you'll have it all to judge me with!
for the ones who call me a ruthless father..
for the ones who'd raise my daughter rather..
for the ones who compare me with the fuehrer..
for the ones who call me a murderer..
let me tell you all;all.
it was a dark afternoon..
after a rainy morning..
i was going back home rather soon..
and as i was walking..
i thought of surprising my daughter..
i planned a trip on a yacht..
for i knew she loved the British style..
so i bought for her a hat..
i reached home i didn't knock..
i used the spare key for the lock..
as i turned around to look at the clock..
i heard her speaking,and i heard a man talk..
surprised with the voice i peeped inside..
and felt as if the world was blown..
i slipped and nearly fell on the doorside..
when i saw him thrust and i heard her moan..
i couldn't believe all that i saw..
like a nightmare which was real..
i forgot the world,i forgot the law..
and i attacked him with a spear..
i was blind with rage..
i was mad for slaughter..
and on that mad stage..
i accidentally killed  my own daughter!
my heart..
my soul..
my part..
or whole..
she was..
my first..
my last..
love..alive..she..
was.

her mother died when she was born..
her mother..my wife..
when i married her i had sworn..
that i'd protect her from everything..
and would be with her in all..
when she was dying i had sworn..
that i'd be a complete family for our daughter..
and i'd protect her from everything..
until i die..
i failed her twice..
when she was dead..and when she was alive..
she died giving birth to our child..
we died when i killed our child..
i felt as if i was never the right man..
never the right husband..
never the right father..
the world was better without me rather..
tonight,everyone..
i wanted to speak..
i loved them more than me..
for they were me..
and when they died..
i did..
all these years..
i was carrying a dead body along..
the life had long back departed..
and tonight..
i depart the body..
please understand me..
i was never a murderer..
i was a guilty husband..
and a remorseful father. "

i was stunned..
silent..
what i just read..
was not a proof of any death..
but the tears of unspoken wrath..
if words could walk..
what i read,ran..
through me.
and then i saw another..
note lying right beside the body..
crumbled..
in agony or pain,i wonder till date..
i opened it and read..

"Father.
you've loved me all my life..
and protected me from everything..
as you say you promised mum..
but all these years..
protecting me..
and loving me..
you never realized..
that i grew up..
i am a butterfly now..
you can't bind my wings..
for i'll spread them..
to fly away for some fragrance some day..
stop overprotecting..
stop overreacting..
stop demanding the kid in me..
for the kid is gone..
never to come home..
today i'll bring my lover home..
i'll sink my fangs into him..
and lose my venom..
and tomorrow..
we'll both run away..
to live our lives..
our way..
i'll always love you..
i always have.

your daughter."

i tried to hold the two letters in my hand..
but they slipped through just like sand..
for there was just one thing in my mind..
if only life could have gone rewind..
if the second letter could have been read before the first happened..
i would've attended a celebration today..
and not a funeral.